


There is My Heart

by coffee666



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Mutual Pining, Secret Relationship, Sharing a Bed, one bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-12 00:54:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10478418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffee666/pseuds/coffee666
Summary: Jim and Spock cannot deny what is between them, but their budding relation must be put on hold when they decide to spend shore leave on New Vulcan with Elder Spock. After all, would you want to see your younger self kissing the younger version of someone you'd only ever known as a friend?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *puts on a pair of sunglasses and sips drink with an umbrella in it* mutual pining, my guys...it's good shit. 
> 
> also you can find me on tumblr @frappuccinio

“I feel like it’s been a zillion years since I’ve had real coffee…” Even though Jim was on duty, he allowed himself a second to close his eyes and rest his chin on the back of chair. He thought standing up behind his usual station would keep him awake, but he was quite wrong.

“A zillion is not a real number, Captain.” Spock said from behind him.

“I _know_ that, Smartypants.” Jim opened his eyes and turned around so that Spock could see him smirking. Spock gave him the tiniest indication of a smile before turning back to his station.

It started being this way some time ago…Jim wasn’t exactly sure when. It was just, one day he realized that teasing Spock was really just flirting. He longed for any reaction from the Vulcan, whether it was amused or not. It was usually not.

But then it was…it started to be lighter. Spock would respond with some snarky comeback and give Jim the smallest of smiles, and Jim’s heart would stop in his chest. Jim told himself he was imagining it, that he and Spock were just starting to be better friends.

But then Spock started touching him. A hand on his upper arm to get his attention, or pressing their shoulders together when they stood side by side. And most recently…a hand on his. Spock would place his own hand, so slender and warm on his own calloused one. The dark hair on his knuckles was such a stark contrast to the pale flawless skin of Spock’s, and when their hands touched, it felt like Jim’s heart was going to burst and he couldn’t breathe. It was great.

“I’m sure I’ll spend leave doing nothing but sleeping and drinking coffee…” Jim closed his eyes again, savoring the fact that in only a few short hours, he’d be relaxing somewhere on with _real_ sunlight and food. He’d skipped leave the last time, as did most of the crew, due to all the work, but if he didn’t get sunlight soon, he was going to end up as pale as Spock.

“Captain,” Spock lowered his voice as he came to stand next to him. Jim immediately straightened up and opened his eyes again. “There is something important I wish to discuss with you…”

“Huh. Oh...uh…sure, Spock. What is it?” He asked, trying to ignore the way his insides felt at the way Spock moved closer to make sure their upper arms were pressed together.

“I believe it would be best discussed in private.” Spock said in an almost whisper. “Perhaps after dinner…in your quarters?”

“Y-Yeah…that works for me.” Jim nodded.

As Spock made his way back to his own station, his scent seemed to linger in Jim’s space for a while longer. His physiological responses to this scent seemed to include increased heart palpitations, and an inability to listen to what anyone said to him for the next hour.

What did Spock want to discuss with him privately? They’d had lots of talks in the past, though they usually just consisted of Spock pulling him aside to tell him privately whenever he disagreed on one of Jim’s tactics. And they’d never had a private talk in Jim’s quarters…not one phrased as such, at least.

Was Spock finally going to acknowledge the thing between them? Maybe he’d admit his constant touches and what could only be described as his _teasing_ was actually flirting, just like Jim had hoped. What then? Vulcans didn’t do emotions…so would Spock’s face remain impassive even if Jim tried to kiss him…what would kissing Spock even feel like? His skin was always so hot…his lips would probably feel like fire…

“Captain?”

“What?” Jim snapped back from his wandering thoughts. He could feel the color still rushing to his face, and his Yeoman was only barely hiding her smile as he asked for his signature on something. He scrawled it without looking and then went back to thinking. Yep, Spock’s mouth probably would feel like fire…and it’d be awesome.

Jim opted for dinner in his quarters, barely tasting it and not caring enough to complain. Not only would be soon be on leave with real food, but he had more pressing matters this evening. After eating, he brushed his teeth twice, and smirked at the thought of what Bones would say if he knew what finally got Jim to take oral hygiene seriously.

He didn’t have time to fret over whether he should keep his uniform on or change into casual clothes, because there was a chime at the door.

“Come on in.”

 “Good evening, Captain.” Spock walked in, and Jim wasn’t surprised that he was still in his uniform too. Jim hardly ever saw Spock out of it.

“Hey, you want some tea or something?” Jim turned and began punching at the replicator.

“No thank you. I was hoping I could make this discussion brief.”

“Oh…um…okay.” Jim turned back to face his friend.

“I am hoping you will not take this badly…or be disappointed.” Spock said, his face its normal neutral self. Jim tried to search his face for clues, but saw nothing unusual. Maybe Spock was just trying to mask his nervousness.

“Spock, I can assure you, I’m not gonna be disappointed.” Jim gave him a smile. “Whatever you’re gonna say…I wanna hear.” _I’ve probably been thinking it too._

“I would like…” Spock’s eyes flicked up to his for just a second. “For us to stay on New Vulcan during shore leave.”

“I was thinking the same –what?”

“New Vulcan’s colony is prospering greatly.” Spock went on. “My Father is there…as is my elder counterpart, and it has been one Terran year since I last visited. I believe it would be most beneficial to spend my time there…and they have requested that you come as well.”

Jim felt his insides squash like a deflating balloon. All of the stuff he wanted to say died in his head and he just sighed.

“That’s…fine. You’re right, it’s been a while since we’ve been…I’ll go with you.” Jim tried to smile, but wasn’t sure it came across right.

“Jim…are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Spock.” Jim couldn’t make himself meet Spock’s eyes. “I just…thought you were gonna say something else, that’s all.”

“Perhaps a discussion pertaining to that…should be saved for another date.” Spock reached over and took Jim’s hand in his. Jim felt his breath catch it his throat. Spock always put his hand on Jim’s, but never held it like this.

“So…it’s a mutual thing?” Jim asked, curling his fingers around Spock’s and savoring the feeling. “It’s not just me?”

“No, Jim.” Spock said. “It is not just you.”

❖ ❖ ❖

“Lights ten percent.”

Spock closed his eyes as his room dimmed. It was pleasantly warm, the dense fabric of his robe against his skin, and his incense burning with the familiar scent of home…yet, he could not relax.

He could not stop thinking about Jim. It was true that he’d intentionally been spending time with Jim, but it was just for his own experimentation. He wanted to truly understand why it was he felt tightness in his chest and pounding in his heart.

He felt them any time he was around the captain, even if they were just discussing work. It was worst when Jim laughed, something Spock now realized was the most wonderful sound. But the strongest was when they touched. It was just an experiment at first…touch hands just to _check_ on that feeling.

And then Spock found that he liked it, and did not want to stop. Because he liked Jim. In a romantic way. It took him quite a while to discern this, as his thoughts were quite cloudy in the hours following touching Jim, but he found the answer by doing what he did best: research and meditation.

The internet had many definitions for what he felt. Frisson, infatuation, a crush. Love.

Spock could not deny the first two, but he did deny a crush. A crush was defined as fleeting romantic feelings, and his feelings were quite stable. Love was undefinable. It fit perfectly. He wanted nothing more than to be able to express this in the most logical way –grabbing Jim and putting their mouths together. He got shivers just thinking about it.

But the colony held many that would disapprove, including his father. That wasn’t even what Spock was avoiding it for. It was himself. His elder counterpart would no doubt be around during their leave, and how odd it must be for him to watch his younger self touch mouths with the younger version of someone else he’d only ever known as a friend.

Leave was only seven days long. They could wait and it would be fine. He’d waited this long, after all. After several long hours, Spock did not fall into meditation, but soft slumber, his head lolling onto his neck. Slacking off on meditation was a sign that he really was in need of vacation.

Perhaps asking Jim to come along was illogical if they were trying to remain professional during that time, yet as Spock watched his captain walk into the transporter room, he did not regret that decision.  Jim was yawning and stretching, causing his hastily tugged on uniform shirt to repeatedly show off a tiny swatch of golden skin. Spock logged that into his memory for no real reason.

“What time will it be when get down there?” Jim asked, standing next to Spock and dropping his bags at his feet.

“Still early.” Spock said, smoothing down one sleeve of the robe he chose to wear over his uniform. He would be among his people and he wanted to blend in. “I am uncertain if the sun will be up. Though I do have a full report on how New Vulcan differs from its predecessor, I have not finished reading it all.”

“Cool…cool..” Jim yawned again, and gave a thumbs up to Scotty at the controls. “Maybe I can catch a nap in the hotel.”

“I hope you do not want to spend the entire leave sleeping.” Spock started. “New Vulcan is full of many museums and libraries that I intend for us to visit.”

“Sounds –“ Jim’s voice faded as Spock felt the familiar sensation of energization over all the particles of his being. “—great.”

Spock sighed softly as he felt the warmth and humidity of the planet settle over his skin. It was familiar, yet foreign. Strange, yet…perfect. The ground beneath them was a more russet brown than the old Vulcan, but Spock chose to ignore that difference.

“Woah, check out all that stuff! They’re really doing well for themselves!” Jim was looking over the ledge to the city. Tops of pointed building could be clearly seen through the red dust of dawn, and Spock was pleased with the density of them, reminding him of the city he was born in.

“Indeed. Father said that this region is complete, and that all refugees now are comfortable housed. You will have to go some ways to find current construction.”

“Wow…” Jim picked up his bags and started off. “Geez, they couldn’t have beamed us any closer? I’m gonna give Scotty and earful when we get back.”

“Walking is good for you, Captain.” Spock reached for his suitcase and pulled it along, feeling the wheels catch on pebbles.

Jim did not respond, but Spock felt a pang of guilt when he saw Jim swiping at his forehead with the cuff of his sleeve. His human biology would mean that accommodations would have to be mad, so Spock was pleased that he’d thought ahead and asked Dr. McCoy to prepare medicine that would help Jim adjust to the atmosphere.

“Would you like a hypospray?” Spock asked.

“No…maybe.” He wheezed a bit. “Ask me again in a minute.”

Spock wanted to press the issue, as he felt his own sweat glands reacting to the walking. Though his were only on the back of his neck, he could still feel the unpleasant sensation of moisture under his collar. It made his many layers stick to his back and he longed for water. There was a moment of pleasure as he recalled the hotel would likely have water showers.

“Would you like a hypospray?” Spock asked again, after silently counting to sixty.

“Nah, we’re here.” Jim wheezed a bit harder as he elbowed his way through the glass doors of the rental building.

“I have a reservation for a car.” Spock said to the woman behind the counter.

“Name?” She asked in Vulcan. Her eyes then seemed to scan him in an almost judgmental way.

Spock felt the sweat glands on the back of his neck prickle, as well as the color rise on his face. He was so used to speaking to everyone on the ship, that it was almost instinctual to speak Standard over Vulcan. Though, to judge another for that was highly illogical. He now remembered why he left home in the first place.

“Commander Spock, Captain Kirk.” Another Vulcan woman came in from a door behind the counter. “We have been expecting your arrival. You will find that your vehicle is in the back in spot seventeen.” She placed a silver key with a singular keychain on the counter and Spock picked it up.

“We are now free to explore the city at leisure.” Spock said to Jim.

“Sweet.” Jim had been rifling through Spock’s bag to alleviate from the heat, as the building was not air conditioned. Jim pulled out a plastic water bottle and quickly splashed half the contents onto his face before standing up.

“Shot gun!” Jim said as they went through the back door to the parking lot and saw rows of identical black vehicles, all sleek and in the Vulcan style. They were even affixed with special tires that allowed for driving over the sand.

“Pardon?” Spock paused from lifting their bags into the trunk.

“It means I get the passenger’s seat.” Jim climbed in and shut the door.

Spock placed their bags in and walked around to the driver’s side, feeling an impending sense of dread. He stood, examining his own reflection in the window for a moment, before it lowered. Jim was leaning across the middle console with his hand on the window controls.

“Well, come on!” He said, swiping at his forehead with his sleeve once more.

“I…I do not know how to drive a car.” Spock confessed, glad he could no longer see his reflection, as he was sure he was blushing again. It wasn’t as if he was unable to learn, it was just that he and his mother always took the car service when going to places too far to walk. Spock did not realize until later than this was a sign of how affluent their family was under his father’s position.

“Really?” Jim actually looked amused. “Well, give me the key, then.”

Spock blushed further when their hands touched as Spock placed the key in Jim’s palm. Spock walked around to the passenger’s seat, and through the windshield, watched Jim climb over the center console and start the car.

“There may be some Vulcan road rules you are unfamiliar with.” Spock said as he put on his seat belt.

“It’s fine, I can wing it.” Jim said as they backed out quickly and pulled onto the main road in a way that made Spock’s katra feel like it was going to jump out of his body.

“Jim…you are not wearing a seat belt.” Spock could hear the concern in his voice as he gripped the edge of his seat.

“Chillax, Spock.” Jim took his eyes off of the road long enough to smirk at him. Spock felt his entire body shudder, as just then, Jim ran a stop sign.

“Captain! The sign!” Spock watched the sign grow smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror.

“Shit…” Jim’s eyes nervously flicked to the mirror as well. “Oh well…left or right?”

“Left.” Spock let out a breath of relief as an upcoming turn would mean Jim would slow down.

“I can make it!” The car swerved widely as Jim turned without hitting the break.

“Oh…sweet Surak.” Spock squeezed his eyes shut and tried to imagine what the others would say when they heard that Jim and Spock had died in a car accident.

“Can we park here? I’m parking here.”

Spock did not realize he was holding his breathe until the car shut off. He slowly breathed out in relief and opened his eyes. Jim was looking at him with a sort of smug look, as if he expected to be praised for his driving.

“You,” Spock used full capacity of his Vulcan reflexed to snatch the key from Jim. “Are never driving this car again.”

“Hey! You have no right to judge my driving!” Jim said incredulously. “I got us to the hotel in one piece, didn’t I?”

“No, I am certain my katra is still lagging miles behind.” Spock said mostly to himself without thinking. There was only a split-second that Spock caught the surprised look on his captain’s face, before Jim started laughing.

“Shit, Spock! Well, whatever…I don’t plan on leaving the room for a few hours, but maybe then we can walk.” He was still laughing as they got out of the car and got their bags from the trunk.

While Spock checked in, he saw Jim go to the corner of the lobby where a cooler of water was. Jim downed something like ten cups before coming to stand beside Spock and sort through pamphlets at the counter. Many were about the newly completed museum, and Spock hoped Jim found it interesting. What a nice time they’d have together…

“Thank you.” Spock took the key cards from the clerk and handed one to Jim.

“What, no elevator?” Jim asked as they started up thickly carpeted stairs.

“Walking is good for you.” Spock said again, stopping at the top of the stairs and turning towards the first door. He slid the card into the lock and opened the door.

“I’ve walked enough for one—“ Jim stopped in the threshold beside Spock and stared in.

The room was furnished with the essentials. A table and chairs was on one wall, with a dresser and mirror on the other. A large window on the wall opposite them showed the vast expanse of the city. The curtains matched the dark bedspread, which was thickly laid on the single bed. One bed.

“There must be some sort of error.” Spock said, unable to look at Jim. “I am certain that I booked a room with two beds.”

“Right…I believe you…” Jim said with a smirk. He dumped his bags onto the floor and went towards the bathroom. “I’m gonna take a shower if you don’t mind. You have no idea how gross it feels to be sweaty.”

“Afterwards, you should take some of the medicine I packed.” Spock said. Jim gave him a thumbs up and went into the bathroom. A moment later, Spock heard the shower start.

One bed. This had to be a mistake. And he would fix it. Perhaps they could have another room free of charge. Spock shed his outer robe and decided to go back downstairs in his uniform. He could feel where the miniscule dust particles in the air stuck to the sweat on the back of his neck. He shuddered and turned on the spot. One bed…no, there was just no way they were going to have this discussion.

❖ ❖ ❖

“If he thinks I’m going to the nerd museum without a nap first, he’s gotta another thing coming…” Jim was still chuckling to himself about Spock’s katra comment as he lathered up.

As far as he could tell, the tiny bottles of Vulcan shampoo smelled pretty much the same as all shampoo, but maybe the smell would secretly get Spock all hot and bothered.

Oh Spock…so, he felt this too, huh? That explained why he _accidentally_ got a room with one bed. It was a classic subtle flirting technique. Jim wondered if maybe Spock got the idea from a movie. Or, heck, maybe it really was an accident. Jim doubted it though. After all, this was a hotel run by Vulcans. They didn’t make mistakes like that.

After showering, Jim toweled off and checked his reflection in the steamed up mirror. His cheeks and neck were not very pink, meaning he probably missed several spots when he sleepily slathered on sunscreen that morning before leaving the ship.

“Damn…” He looked around and realized he forgot to bring in some clothes to change into. He decided to give Spock a little treat. He wrapped the towel around his waist and opened the bathroom door.

Spock wasn’t there, but his robe was folded neatly on the bed. Jim reached into the pocket of it and stole the car key back, dropping it into his own bag.

“Spock…you’re missing out…” He said to no one as he dropped the towel and started rooting through his bag for clothes. The warm air meant he did not want clothes sticking to his skin, so he opted to go commando under his jeans. He was just pulling on the lowest cut v-neck t-shirt he owned when the door opened.

“It seems…that we cannot switch rooms. The recent completion of the museum means that there are many people coming to the city to see it. All of the rooms with two beds are booked.” Spock sighed.

“Hey…I don’t mind sharing.” Jim walked around and closed the door to the hallway and engaged the lock.

“T-That will not be necessary.” Spock wasn’t looking at him, and as Jim inched closer, he saw Spock was blushing. “I am fine sleeping on the chaise. I require less sleep than you, therefore—“

“No way…” Jim inched closer, and was pleased by the way Spock blushed deeper. “We can share. I promise not to kick you in my sleep.”

“Jim.” Spock looked at him finally.

“Hey…we’re alone. Maybe we can have a private talk?” Jim reached for Spock’s hand this time, holding it softly in his own. Jim had never seen Spock blush so hard before. He knew Spock couldn’t blame it on a sunburn, since Vulcans were built for this weather. “You said it’s not just me…”

“It is not just you.” Spock whispered. He laced their fingers together for just a moment before pulling back. Jim felt like his heart was going to drop into his feet. “But now is not the time…”

“What’s the matter?” Jim resisted the urge to reach for his hand again. It was like once he felt that, he needed it always.

“It is…myself.” Spock looked down again. “My older self, I mean.”

“What?”

“He knows we are here, and I’m sure he will be wanting to see us.” Spock explained.

“So?”

“So…how would you feel if you saw your younger self touching mouths with the younger version of someone you’d only ever known as a friend?”

“Touching mouths…” Jim knew Spock was being dead serious, but once he started laughing, he couldn’t stop.

It wasn’t just mouths he wanted to touch. He wanted to feel Spock all over, but now he couldn’t stop thinking about what Spock would call it, rather than what the elder Spock would say, though it was a valid point.

“There is also my father, who has invited us to his home. He has never once approved of any of my decisions, and I do not wish to disappoint him after not speaking with him for so long.”

“Wait, so all of this is because you’re worried what other people will say?” Jim felt himself quickly sobering. “I thought Vulcans didn’t care about that sort of thing?”

“We do not…it is just--” Spock looked lost for words.

“Maybe you’re right about the older you. He’s nice….hell, he’s saved our lives, and I don’t wanna freak him out. I promise to stay chaste around him…” Jim felt his heart slamming in his chest as he made the risky move of slowly wrapping his arms around Spock’s neck. He could feel dampness on the back of his shirt, and it was just so human and wonderful.

“Jim…” Spock remained stiff, even as Jim pressed his face into the crook of his neck. The scent that lingered in his station was nothing compared to the way it hit him now. It was thick and strong in his mouth; he could taste it.

“I just wanna be with you.” Jim whispered against his skin, letting one hand go to Spock’s neck. “Hmm…so you _do_ know what it’s like to feel all sweaty.”

Jim gasped as he felt Spock’s hands on his face. Those slender fingers felt like fire on his already scorched skin. He pulled back enough to look into Spock’s eyes as Spock’s fingers stroked his face.

“What? Are you gonna kiss me?” Jim asked.

“I was considering it.” Spock’s voice shook a bit.

“Okay.” Jim couldn’t help but smile. He closed his eyes, and a moment later, he felt Spock’s lips on his.

It was like fire, impossibly hot and powerful. Their mouths fit together, and Jim could feel Spock’s tongue like sandpaper against his own. Jim wrapped his arms tighter around Spock’s neck and moaned as he felt Spock’s hands go from his face to his hips, and then lower.

“Oh my God, oh my God.” Jim gasped, breaking the kiss. He moaned as he felt Spock’s hands slip past the waistband of his jeans. Spock’s fingers dug into the flesh of his ass, driving their pelvises together. “God…wanted you for so long.”

“The feeling is mutual.” Spock whispered, and Jim chuckled at the formality of the words. He pulled Spock’s mouth to his once more, desperate to feel that hot rough tongue on his again. Spock’s hands were digging hard into his flesh, and he could feel Spock’s hardness against his own, making him shiver. “It is…strange to feel your emotions from this area.” Spock said, blushing hard.

Jim laughed and kissed him again, rocking his hips enough to feel something. Spock seemed to like what he felt and moaned into Jim’s mouth. Jim tightened his fingers in Spock’s hair, tugging so that Spock could feel the pressure in the same way Jim was feeling it on his ass. Spock actually growled, his teeth nipping at Jim’s bottom lip.

“God…I wanna be inside you…or you inside me. Whatever one you want.” Jim shivered again as he felt the tips of Spock’s fingers move lower.

“Y-Yes, I –“ Spock gasped, and then they both froze, listening hard.

“Was that –“ Jim started, and then they heard it again. A knock at the door.

“My father is not expecting us until tomorrow.” Spock said, not moving his hands.

“Maybe it’s just room service.” Jim glanced towards the door. “Tell them to come back later, we’re busy touching mouths.”

Spock stepped back from Jim and pulled his hands off of him before going to the door. Jim took a second to reach into his pants and try and rearrange himself so he was straining to hard against his jeans. Still, he thought to himself, it was a good call that he wasn’t wearing any underwear.

“Good morning. I am pleased you two are here.”

A split second later, the voice registered in Jim’s mind. He quickly zipped his pants up and looked towards the door. Spock stepped aside to let their guest in, and Jim couldn’t help but think about how weird it was to see both of them. Two Spocks.

“Er…uh, good morning.” Jim said, unable to stop glancing between the two of them. Even though the elder Spock was wearing robes, while the younger Spock was still in his uniform, the resemblance was there enough for it to be slightly jarring.

“I hope this is not a bad time, but my younger counterpart did tell me where you were staying.” The Elder Spock said, turning to his younger self. In his face, Jim could faintly see the same teasing look Spock gave him across the bridge sometimes.

“No!” Jim forced a chuckle. “We were just…”

“—Unpacking.” He finished just as the younger Spock cut in.

“—Packing.” Spock said. The elder Spock raised an eyebrow.

“We were packing.” Younger Spock repeated. “Because we were going to change rooms.”

“Yeah, but they’re all booked.” Jim said. “So…it’s back to unpacking.”

Jim felt like he was going to sweat to death as the elder Spock looked between them. He had to know they were lying, thought Jim, because that wasn’t even a good lie.

“I see.” Elder Spock simply nodded. “If you are in need of more space, perhaps I could accommodate. My home has excellent guest quarters, as well as the fact that it on the edge of the city. That is the optimum place for peace and gardening.”

“Gardening?” Jim glanced at Younger Spock.

“That would be most acceptable.” He nodded.

“Um, yeah.” Jim nodded in agreement. “Thanks.”

The elder Spock was still watching, so Jim had no choice but to help the younger Spock gather their bags once more. There was no way they could be alone if they were literally staying with the other Spock, and Spock seemed to read his mind.

“We cannot stay for long.” He said, standing and gripping the handle of his suitcase. “We would not want to inconvenience you.”

“--And our room’s already paid for.” Jim cut in, in case the Elder Spock was going to be all polite and say it was no trouble.

The Elder Spock looked between them once more. Jim fully expected him to call bullshit, but instead he just gave them a small smile.

“Very well.” He said. “That will make tonight a special occasion. You can help me in the garden, and then I will prepare us a special meal, and you two can tell me all about what you’ve been doing on the ship.”

“That sounds most acceptable.” Young Spock nodded. As he and Jim picked up their bags, Jim smirked when he saw the look of confusion on Spock’s face as he reached into his robe pocket and saw the car key was missing.

“Let’s drive.” Jim pulled the key out of his bag and twirled the ring on one finger. “Would you like shot gun?” He asked the elder Spock.

“If your driving is anything like the way I recall, then no.” He said with a polite smile. “I would not.”

“Fine. You nerds can ride in the back.”

They went out into the hallway and Jim locked the door. As they walked away from the single-bed room, Jim could not help but think of what he told Spock –his promise that they’d stay chaste in from of his Elder self.

Well, he thought to himself, it’s just one night. Plus, seeing the two of them get on would be, to say the least, fascinating. 


	2. Chapter 2

Somehow Elder Spock convinced Jim to let him drive. Jim wasn’t too disappointed about relinquishing control of the wheel, since it meant he got to sit in the back seat with Younger Spock.

Jim sat staring out the widow, watching as buildings filed past and the city grew smaller and smaller behind them. All of the road signs were in Vulcan, but Jim was pretty sure they said _You are now leaving civilization, have fun in the middle of nowhere._

“It is just up ahead. Not much father.” Elder Spock said from the front seat.

Jim looked over at Younger Spock, who was sitting rod-straight and staring forward at the back of his elder counterpart’s head. He wondered if Spock was as bummed as he was that they got interrupted. He’d been wanting that for so long…and the best part was that it wasn’t anything like he expected it to be.

He always expected Spock to be all shy and uncertain, but man was he wrong. He shifted a bit in his seat, and it was like he could still feel how hard Spock had been grabbing him. He had no idea how possessive Spock could be…it was really hot.

“Here we are.” Elder Spock parked the car in the driveway.

Jim looked out the window and saw a fence surrounding a small house. He looked to either side, and saw other houses in the distance, but none close enough for him to have friendly chats with the neighbors over the fence.

“Have a look here…” Elder Spock said as they walked through the fence into the yard. He stopped and looked to a small patch of flowers. “These were just planted, and I think they are coming along nicely.”

“Lilacs…” Younger Spock stopped next to him. “Mother’s favorite.”

“Indeed…”

Jim awkwardly let them have their moment and went back to the car for their bags. When he came back, Elder Spock unlocked the door and let them in.

Something heavy and fury immediately crashed into Jim and knocked him sideways. He screamed and dropped his bags, watching in horror as the thing jumped onto Younger Spock and knocked him completely over.

“What the hell!” Jim gasped, but when Elder Spock grabbed the animal by the scruff of the neck and pulled it off, Jim saw that Younger Spock was actually _laughing_ softly at having his face licked by a bear.

“Are you alright?” Elder Spock asked, amusement on his face as he attempted to hold the animal back.

“What the hell is that thing?” Jim eyed the fangs in its mouth nervously.

“That is a sehlat.” Younger Spock stood up and smoothed down his bangs where they’d been ruffled by the creature’s tongue.

“Indeed.” Elder Spock finally succeeded in getting it to calm down enough so that he could let go of it without it jumping up again. It did, however, go up and start sniffing Younger Spock curiously. “He is a part of a program to regrow their species. Many of the Vulcans that evacuated the old planet took their pets with them. All of those sehlats were taken to a facility on Earth during construction so that they could breed. This one is one from a litter born just last spring.”

“Fascinating…” Younger Spock reached down and stroked the sehlat’s head.

“Are you telling me that this thing is a baby?”  Jim shook his head. It was already bigger than any dog he’d ever seen.

“Precisely.” Elder Spock looked down fondly at the sehlat that was now going between the two Spocks and sniffing curiously, no doubt finding their similarities of their scent very confusing.

Younger Spock reached down and stroked the animal’s head once more. “He reminds me of I-Chaya…”

“Yes, that is precisely what prompted me to want to aid in the efforts to regrow the population.” Elder Spock said. “They are wonderful companions to Vulcans, and it would be such a shame for them to be lost.”

“It’s not…dangerous, right?” Jim asked. They both looked for a moment as if they’d forgotten he was there. Elder Spock smiled again.

“No. They are quite tame. I believe he was just very excited when you arrived. We do not usually get guests. Though, I am unsure how he even got inside. He was supposed to be out in the back garden.”

“So, does he have a name?” Jim asked, slowly warming up to the animal enough to reach out and touch its head. “All pets should have names.”

“Follow me, and I will show you to the guest rooms.” Elder Spock turned away, and there was no mistaking the twinge of color on his cheeks. He was obviously trying to pretend he hadn’t heard the question.

“Don’t be like that. You can tell us.” Jim said.

“Yes. You are among friends.” Younger Spock said, looking as if was enjoying seeing Jim tease someone else for a change. He also hadn’t stopped smiling since the sehlat licked his face.

“It’s something cute and embarrassing, isn’t it?” Jim asked.

“Yes…” Elder Spock admitted, but still did not look at them. “His name is Leonard. Follow me to the guest rooms.”

Jim looked sideways at Younger Spock, both of their moods immediately dropping. Younger Spock’s smile slowly faded, and they had no choice but to pick up their bags and follow him.

“Jim, you can stay here.” Elder Spock pushed open one door to reveal and small bedroom. “And Spock can stay across the hall.” He the door across the hall to reveal an identical room.

“And is this the bathroom?” Jim reached towards the door at the very end of the hall.

“That is my private study. I must ask that you do not go in there. It is where I meditate, among other things. If you are in need of the restroom, it is this door.” He pointed to another one. “Now, I am going to go put Leonard back outside, and check on the plomeeks while you unpack.”

Jim threw his bags into his room without unpacking, and then dashed across the hallway to Spock’s room. Spock was carefully unpacking, placing stacks of folded clothes in the dresser drawers. Jim went up behind him and snaked his arms around Spock’s waist.

“Jim…” Spock said warningly, pausing from arranging his stuff.

“What? We’re alone.” Jim rested his chin on Spock’s shoulder. “And you just looked so cute when Leonard was licking your face… that was a very weird sentence to say.”

“Indeed.” Spock closed the drawer and turned around, Jim’s arms still around him. “It was very…nice to see a sehlat after so long.”

“So, is this what you want? A fancy house with animals and a garden? You must think he’s really living it up out here…” Jim smirked. “You wanna get some of that action.”

“I have no desire to leave my place on the ship.” Spock looked offended by the notion.

“I know, I was just teasing…” Jim’s arms went up to wrap around Spock’s neck. “I really wish we were alone… maybe tonight I can sneak across the hallway…”

He expected Spock to give him another warning, but instead he just looked very into that idea. Jim leaned in and just barely brushed his lips against Spock’s when they heard Elder Spock in the hallway. Jim jumped back from Spock and tried to look innocent as the door opened.

“The plomeeks are in the oven. In the meantime, I have prepared tea that is my favorite. I am curious to see if it is your favorite as well.” He addressed his younger self.

As they followed him out into the dining room, Jim managed to whisper to Spock under his breathe. “What the heck is a plomeek?”

Plomeeks turned out to be not that bad, but it was even funnier watching the two Spocks eat the exact same thing in the same exact way. The elder Spock seemed pleased to tell them all about how New Vulcan was prospering, and how he was working in the background under a pseudonym. With some prodding, he laughed and agreed to tell them about a story from the past.

“I may not have been feeling completely myself, but in that moment, I understood what must be done. The most logical solution was to attempt to meld with the whale, by getting into the tank…”

“…Is he serious?” Jim whispered to Younger Spock. “Or is he just fucking with us?”

“…I am not sure.” Spock shook his head slightly. “It is hard to tell.”

Just then, there was a scrapping noise at the door to the porch. Through the glass, Jim could see the sehlat pressing its face against the door and whining.

“You must excuse him. I usually let him in during dinner time.” Elder Spock said.

“Does he sit at the table with you and eat too?” Jim asked teasingly.

“Of course not.” Elder Spock went slightly green, and Jim wasn’t sure he believed him. “I will just go and check that he has sufficient food and water outside.”

When he was gone, Jim didn’t feel like sneakily grabbing Spock’s hand or anything. He just sighed.

“Do you believe that story about the whales was a lie simply to amuse us?” Spock asked.

“I don’t know.” Jim said, dismissing it. “Let me ask you something…does this seem…weird?”

“It is slightly odd to be eating dinner with myself.” Spock nodded.

“Not that.” Jim lowered his voice and leaned in. “I mean…he’s out here…all alone…so far from the city…the highlight of his day is these potatoes—“

“Plomeeks.” Spock corrected.

“Whatever. And he’s got that bear—“

“Sehlat.”

“ _Whatever_. It’s named after Bones --the one he knew. We both know it. Don’t you think it’s a little…sad?”

“Vulcans cannot get sad.” Spock said after a moment.

“Bullshit.” Jim glanced towards the door. Outside in the yard, Jim could see the Elder Spock petting the sehlat and looking up at the sky, just as the stars were appearing. “He’s depressed.”

“Well, it is not as if he does not have things to do. He works in the city, and he is helping with the reconstruction.” Spock pointed out.

“Maybe…” Jim sighed again, knowing he wouldn’t get the truth from the elder Spock, even if he asked. “But I was thinking of telling him…about us, and now I know I can’t. He’d probably get even more depressed.”

Spock looked out the glass door to watch his counterpart, and it was times like this that made Jim wish he could read minds. Did Spock agree with him or not? And how weird must it be to see yourself as an old hermit?

“I believe he will be fine to stay inside tonight for tonight, as I believe it going to rain. That is not something we experienced on the old planet.” Elder Spock said as he came inside with Leonard at his heels. Jim saw he was still smiling, and he didn’t want the mood to drop.

“Hey, I’ve got the best idea ever. Have you got a chess set? Cuz I was thinking that you two should play. Spock verses Spock…the ultimate match.” Jim stood up and clapped his hands together.

Both Spocks looked at one another and then to him. Jim pushed aside the weird feeling from getting identical looks from them and tried to keep a smile.

“That…” Elder Spock smiled. “Is a fascinating idea, Jim.”

Watching the two Spocks play chess might have been fascinating in theory, but it turned out to be the most boring thing ever. Both Spocks took so look to make a move, that Jim thought he was going to die of boredom.

He laid on the couch with his head resting against Leonard, as he watched both of them at the coffee table. Neither of them took their eyes off the board at all, and they both sat in identical stances, with their fingers tented.

Finally, Elder Spock moved a piece. Jim immediately saw a good counter move, but had to wait and agonizing fifteen minutes for Younger Spock to make it.

“Hey…” Jim started.

“You are not allowed to help.” Both Spocks said simultaneously.

Jim was just laughing at the way they both held their hands up the same way, when there was a flicker from all the lights, and then they were plunged in darkness.

“What the? Is that because of the rain?” Jim asked, hearing Leonard whimpering.

“Yes, this does occasionally happen because we are so far from the city.” Elder Spock said. “The electricity is usually restored within the hour. So we have very little to worry about, unless—“

The room was immediately lit from all the windows as lightning flashed outside. In the two seconds of light, Jim saw Elder Spock clap his hands over his ears in preparation for the loudest crack of thunder Jim had ever heard.

“Ah!” Younger Spock actually cried out as he clapped his hands over his ears.

“Hey, are you guys okay?!” While that was really loud, Jim knew it had to be worse for them, since Vulcans had way better hearing than humans.

Lightning flashed again, and Jim could see them both with their hands over their ears. Younger Spock was actually shaking slightly. Leonard whimpered again as Jim left his side in favor of comforting Spock. He didn’t care what the Elder Spock would say as he leaned over and placed his hands on the younger Spock’s shoulders.

“Storms usually do not last long…” Elder Spock assured them. “The thunder is the worst part. I have some candles in my study.” Jim waited until he got up to retrieve them before gently rubbing Younger Spock’s shoulders.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly.

“Yes…” Spock sighed. “It is not just the volume, but the unique shape of our ears that allows them to pick up the aftershocks from the thunder. We face a similar problem when it thunders on Earth.”

“…You never told me that.” Jim and Spock had spent the last few shore leaves on Earth. Jim couldn’t remember if it’d rained during any of those times, but the idea of Spock hiding in his room during a storm was enough to make his heart actually hurt.

“It is inconsequential.” He removed his hands from his ears, though Jim could still feel him shaking.

“You know why I worry, though.” Jim gently covered one of Spock’s hands with his own. They’d yet to say the extend of their feelings in words, and Jim had no idea how much of his emotions Spock could actually feel right now, but he hoped he could at least appreciate the gesture.

“Yes, but I am fine, ashayam.” Spock whispered.

Jim’s breath caught in his throat, but he didn’t get a chance to ask what it was that Spock called him. He quickly pulled his hand back as Elder Spock returned with candles.

“I apologize for how this evening turned out.” He said as he set the candles on the table and lit them. Jim flopped back onto the couch and rested his head against Leonard, who was now snoring softly.

“It is illogical to apologize, as you did not cause the power outage.” Younger Spock said.

“No, but I had a…different idea for how this was going to work out.” He sighed and sat back down at the table across from his counterpart. “At the very least, I wanted to show you something… You have never before stayed New Vulcan long enough to see it… The Vulcan moon, and now it is obscured by the storm clouds.”

“We will just have to come back tomorrow.” Younger Spock said, in a moment that surprised Jim. He hoped the candle light was too dim for Elder Spock to catch his look of surprise before he joined in.

“Yeah, definitely.”

Elder Spock was silent for a moment, his fingers tented as he just stared down at the table with a soft smile on his face.

“Thank you both. I would enjoy having your company for another night.” And then he reached out and moved a pawn on the board.

So the match of Spock verses Spock resumed. Jim watched, feeling sleepier and sleepier. The most exciting thing was not watching Younger Spock get out of check in a way that was almost hot, nor was it when the power came back on about an hour later. It was when Leonard got down from the table and stretched, knocking the chess board to the floor.

“Damn!” Jim looked down at the scattered pieces. “That’s three hours down the toilet.”

“I am sure we will be able to use our superior memory to put at all of the pieces back where they were.” Younger Spock said, reaching for the board.

“Actually, I concede to you.” Elder Spock said, standing up. “I am not opposed to a rematch tomorrow, but for now, I must retire for meditation.”

“That sounds logical.” Younger Spock nodded.

“Yeah, I’m gonna hit the hay too.” Jim yawned. He was pretty tired, having already been half-asleep anyways.

Leonard followed Jim to his room and climbed up on his bed. Jim laid in bed, listening hard for the sounds of Elder Spock to going to bed, but it was hard to hear over the sounds of the rain outside.

Finally, when Jim figured it’d been long enough, he crept over to the door and peered out into the hallway. He then tiptoed across to Younger Spock’s room and opened the door.

Spock was not in bed, but was meditating. The only light came from the window, where Jim could see the outline of the moon beneath the clouds.

“The thunder stopped.” Jim whispered, tiptoeing in and gently pushing the door closed behind him.

“Yes.” Spock said. As Jim approached, he saw that Spock was shirtless. He’d seen Spock shirtless before, but he was always surprised by how hairy Spock’s chest was. Never before had he wanted to touch it so bad, but he resisted that urge as he sat behind Spock and wrapped his arms around his middle.

“What’s wrong?”

“I believe you were right…about my counterpart. He is depressed.” Spock said. “It is very…unethical, but I touched him briefly during our match. I have never felt such a strong emotion from a Vulcan before.”

“So, _that’s_ why you told him we’d come back over.”

“Did this upset you?”

“No, it’s great. I mean… it’s the least we can do, and it is relaxing here.” Jim rested his face against Spock’s back. “It’s just… we’re visiting your dad tomorrow, and you wanted to go to the museum too… are we ever gonna have time to _relax_ at the hotel?”

“Of course.” Spock said, reaching back to place a hand on Jim’s knee. “There will be sufficient time for that, ashayam. But for now, you must return to your own bed, where Leonard is waiting for you… that is an unsettling sentence to say.”

Jim laughed quietly, and since he couldn’t resist, he gently tilted Spock’s head back and kissed him. At least this was already the most eventful shore leave ever.

❖ ❖ ❖

The private study was the most secluded room in the house, so Spock was reluctant to leave it until he heard the thunder stop completely. Being on Earth for so long, and in addition, New Vulcan, for so many months, meant he was not quite as shocked by the pain of thunder as he used to be.

No, there was another reason that Spock could not slip into his routine meditation. His younger counterpart was only a few yards away, and across from him… was Jim.

The mental link that bonded Spock with his T’hy’la did not care about the fact that this was a different universe. It simply recognized the presence of Jim, and longed to connect with him again. To feel his end of the bond… to feel his presence in Spock’s mind like he hadn’t felt since the day Jim died. His Jim. Spock knew this was not his Jim. He did not want it to be. While there were many similarities between the two of them, most notably, that laugh… there were also jarring differences. But Spock’s mental link didn’t notice. It simply flared, outstretched forever.

It was illogical to stay in here any longer when he was not meditating. It was also illogical to hide from walking around his own home. He longed for his T’hyla, but he promised himself long ago that he would not dwell on that anymore. It would especially be no good since Jim and Spock would be coming back tomorrow.

Spock sighed and stood up. His age was truly catching up when he could feel his bones rattling. Usually Leonard slept by Spock during his meditation. The sehlat was quite a comfort and very helpful to lean on when standing. But, apparently he’d taken quite a liking to Jim. That was understandable.

Spock padded quietly down the hall and paused by Jim’s door. Within, he could hear both Jim and Leonard breathing. Curiously, he paused by the younger Spock’s door, and pleased to hear the sound of snoring. His T’hy’la had often teased him for that, and Spock found it only fair that his younger counterpart get teased for snoring as well… by whoever it was that he settled with.

Spock continued down the hall into the living room, stopping to reset the chessboard in preparation for tomorrow. Just then, the light through the glass door got brighter as the last of the storm clouds parted.

Spock walked to the door and opened it before stepping out onto the porch. Vulcan had no moon. He remembered countless night of watching the black expanse of stars as a child. New Vulcan’s moon, however, was larger than Earth’s. Spock watched it for a while, transfixed.

“Oh, ashayam.” He whispered. “How I long for you…”


	3. Chapter 3

“Does this look suspicious and weird?”

“Hm?” Spock tore his eyes away from the bathroom mirror where he was brushing his teeth to look at Jim, who was sitting up on the counter with his own toothbrush.

“I mean we’re both in the bathroom at the same time…” He looked to the door, where the lock was engaged, not that Elder Spock would see anything odd if he came in, other than Jim sitting on the counter instead of standing at the sink.

“There is only one bathroom.” Spock reasoned. “Of course, you do not have to be in here with me…”

“I like being alone with you.” Jim reached over and brushed against Spock’s leg with his foot. “That was supposed to be the point of this week…”

“Yes.” Spock whispered and sighed. He longed to share warmth with Jim in a bed…to touch his skin and fulfill things he’d only ever dreamed about.

“Spock, are you okay?” Jim asked, nudging him again.

“Yes, yes…I am fine. I just…long for you, is all.” Spock placed his toothbrush back in the holder.

“Geez…” Jim turned that wonderful pink color. “You’re such a smooth talker.”

He hoped down from the counter and placed his hands on either side of Spock’s face. Spock could smell the sharp scent of mint between their breaths, and though it would logically be the most hygienic time to kiss Jim, it would undermine his very human taste, which disappointed Spock.

Still, he leaned in and let their lips brush together. Immediately, there was the tingle in his skin. He could feel his heartrate increase as Jim’s tongue pressed against his, so cold, made colder by the mint.

“I want you too…” Jim whispered in Spock’s ear. “Want you so bad…couldn’t stop thinking about it last night…you looked so hot when you were meditating last night…” Jim slipped his hands under Spock’s shirt, and Spock gasped when he felt Jim’s nails slightly scrape over his chest and his fingertips brush through the hair there.

“Jim…” Spock sighed. He was torn. He wanted to kiss and hold Jim, yet he knew they couldn’t now. “Perhaps if we…leave my father’s house early, we can…relax at the hotel before returning here tonight.”

Spock did not want to rush the visit with his father, but perhaps they’d have another chance to see each other before the week was over. If not, there was always next time. And as for this, Spock did not know how long this was going to go on. When they got back on the ship, would this all fall apart? What more did Jim want, if anything?

“I love you.” Jim answered Spock’s internal question. Spocks’ breath caught in his throat, and he felt color rising in his face. Jim just rested his head on Spock’s shoulder, a soft content smile on his face.  “Some way to say it, huh? In the bathroom…it’s not romantic at all…it’s not even _our_ bathroom…Spock…Spock, you’re not saying anything.”

Spock hadn’t even meant to fall silent, he’d just been in a state of shock. For so long he’d been unable to name what it was he felt for Jim…why he found himself so _happy_ in his company, and why he desired to put his hands all over him, when he was usually so adverse to touch.

“Spock, you’re not saying anything! Please say you love me too!” Jim pulled back, his hands still on Spock’s shoulders.

Spock locked eyes with him, staring into those beautiful eyes for so long was something Spock never thought he’d get to do. Usually it was just a few stolen fleeting seconds of eye contact on the bridge.

“Yes…” Spock reached out to cup Jim’s face in his hands, letting his thumbs stroke across the pink skin. He wasn’t sure what else to say, even if he could articulate it. This feeling was far from simple, because it was a feeling. A feeling he could not and did not want to get rid of. He hoped acknowledge that was enough.

When Jim smiled at him, he knew it was. The light knock on the bathroom door forced Spock to drop his hands from Jim’s face.

“We’re just brushing our teeth!” Jim called out to Elder Spock in the hallway, before giving Younger Spock an apologetic look.  “We better get out there before he gets suspicious.”

“Yes…” Spock sighed and reached for the knob.

Elder Spock was outside the door, and brightened considerably when he they stepped out. “I hope brushing your teeth did not diminish your appetites. I woke early, and after my morning meditation, I started baking. I made a caramel shortbread that in the past has proven to be quite the morning delight.”

“Desert for breakfast?” Jim grinned. “Let me guess, _an old friend_ taught you that?”

“Indeed.” Elder Spock smiled softly. “An old friend also taught me this recipe. It is a _Scottish_ delicacy.”

“Spock…” Jim whispered and grabbed Younger Spock around the upper arm. They fell behind as Elder Spock went through the kitchen doors. “He got this recipe from –“

“Yes, I know.” Spock sighed. He’d tried to spend all night putting his counterpart’s loneliness and depression out of his mind, but it was hard with the constant reminders.

Just then, Elder Spock came out with the plate, and at his heels was another reminder. Leonard was attempting to get a bite by rearing up on his hind paws, but Elder Spock was not paying him any mind.

“Yes, this turned out well.” Elder Spock smiled. “It will be a nice snack before you go to visit our father.”

“So, do you see him a lot?” Jim asked what Spock had been wondering as he reached for one of the pieces. “Is that weird?”

Elder Spock set the plate down on the coffee table before answering. “On the contrary…it is quite…fascinating. You see…I was not particularly close with my father when I was growing up. This way, I can get to know him. It is a different version, but a very similar one. It also quite…funny the way I find myself seeking his approval as I am still a young boy. I suppose some things just never go away.”

Jim chuckled and reached for a second piece of shortbread. Spock tried his own piece, but found it was so overwhelmingly sweet that he could not finish it. He discreetly wrapped it in a napkin and placed it on the table. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Elder Spock discreetly feed his to Leonard.

“Man…these are good.” Jim said, reaching for a third.

“I am glad you think so.” Elder Spock said with a smile. “I often made them for…my companions back home. Perhaps my counterpart can learn the recipe.”

There it was again. It was obvious that neither Spock cared for the treat, and Elder Spock said he made them for his friends. Younger Spock had a feeling that he knew exactly which friend, as Jim was now reaching for a fourth.

Spock tried to be as subtle as last night as he carefully tried to brush his hand against his counterpart’s. Reading another Vulcan’s emotion was not like reading a human’s. It was usually as if Vulcan emotions were not so strong and overpowering, yet as Spock felt the deep feelings from his counterpart, it was such an overwhelming amount of heartbreak, that Spock gasped softly.

“Spock.” Elder Spock pulled his hand back and looked up sharply. “Come into the kitchen so I can give you the recipe.”

Spock was almost afraid as he stiffly followed himself into the kitchen. As soon as they were alone, Elder Spock rounded on him, and Spock recognized the look in his eyes as resembling their _father_ more than himself.

“Stop that.” He said firmly. “Stop reading me without my consent. That is extremely tactless.”

“I—I was just…checking on you…” Spock found himself unable to look into his counterpart’s eyes. He was blushing as if he were a child being reprimanded. “I –I wanted to see…”

“Though I may not answer them all, I have always been willing to at least consider any question you may have for me. For you to feel the need to read me –“

“Why are you so sad?” Spock blurted, forcing his eyes upward.

“W-What?”

“You are sad.” Spock sighed.

“Aren’t you?” Elder Spock asked quietly. He turned away and went to gaze out the window over the sink. “Our planet is gone.”

That hurt like a physical wound. Spock shifted his weight from foot to foot, but did not approach his counterpart. “Yes.” He whispered. “But there is something else.”

“My friends…our friends.” Elder Spock placed his hands behind his back. “Not a day goes by that I do not think of each of them. I encouraged you to do what felt right, because I hoped you would come to understand the importance of friendship. You may think that it’s illogical, but you and I have never been conventional.”

“N-No…I understand.” Spock took a hesitant step towards him. “You are right. I used to occasionally wonder what they all think of me. If they even…care for me…but now I am sure they do. I am so _glad_ I went back. Thank you. I’m…I’m sorry about yours.”

“They went with old age.” Elder Spock sighed. “It was hard to watch. It is still hard to think about. But you should not worry about me. I am alright. I promise you that.” He smiled softly.

“Spock –“ Jim opened the kitchen door. “We gotta get going, where did you hide the keys?”

“In my suitcase.” Spock glanced at his counterpart, unsure if they were done here, but Elder Spock just nodded. “I’ll just get it.”

“Have fun.” Elder Spock called to them. “I will make us a nice meal for dinner as well as more shortbread.”

“Wahoo!” Jim clapped his hands together.

Spock mentally prepared himself for Jim’s driving (made worse by so much sugar) as they made their way out to the car. As Spock buckled in and gripped the edge of his seat, his conversation with his counterpart left his mind. He was only left with one faint feeling from where their hands had brushed –it was the ghost-like still presence of the heartbreak.

❖ ❖ ❖

“Whoa, is your dad having a party or something?” Jim asked as they parked on the street outside the house.

“I am uncertain.” Spock said, opening his door. There was another car in Sarek’s driveway. Spock knew for a fact that his father did not own a car. He and Jim exchanged looks before starting towards the door.

“Spock,” Sarek opened the door as they approached, as if he’d been watching from inside. “I am pleased to see you. I have been waiting for you.”

“Who else is here?” Spock asked. Over Sarek’s shoulder, Spock saw a Vulcan woman standing in the living room. Sniffing at her feet was a sehlat that looked as if it could have been Leonard’s litter mate.

“Hey, you have one of those things too!” Jim bent down and started petting it. Spock was pleased that Jim was no longer afraid of them.

“Spock, this is T’Bree. She oversees the sehlat breeding program on Earth. She has recently come back here to the colony where she brought a litter of sehlats. I have taken one in, and she occasionally comes to check that it is growing at a healthy rate.”

“Nice to meet you.” Spock nodded at her.

She nodded back and smiled softly. Spock was not used to that, being smiled at by girls, especially Vulcan girls. His childhood spent as an outcast made sure of that.

“Spock and his commanding officer are spending leave here. They will be here until the end of the week.” Sarek said to her. She nodded, never taking her eyes off Spock. Spock awkwardly looked over at Jim, who was lying on the floor and letting the sehlat lick his face.

“I wish we could take one of these things back on the ship. They’re so cute…” Jim sighed.

“You should not let it lick your face.” T’Bree told him. “And by lying on your back, you are taking a submissive role. It will think it is dominant.”

Jim grumbled something before standing up again. The sehlat whimpered slightly, apparently upset that Jim had stopped playing with it.

“I will show you the proper way to address one.” T’Bree stood with straight posture and held up her hand. “ _Sit_.” She said firmly in Vulcan. The sehlat sat down.

“Oh, cool…” Jim smiled. “Sort of like a dog.”

“Sehlats are _nothing_ like domestic dogs.” T’Bree shook her head. “Vulcan domesticated animals are much smarter. Wouldn’t you say so, Spock?”

“No.” Spock was taken aback by having her ask for his opinion, but he was still being truthful. Yes, selhats reminded him of his childhood, but with his childhood came memories of other things he’d rather not think of…his time as an outcast…the time in his life where he was most lonely. He found that out of all animals –Earth, Vulcan, or otherwise, he preferred cats. They did not knock him over as easily as anything.

T’Bree colored slightly in the cheeks and turned away. Jim was now trying to get the sehlat to shake his hand by holding it down in front of his paw. The sehlat reached up and placed a paw on Jim’s shoulder. Jim laughed and let it lick his face once more.

“Spock, come into the kitchen so that we can make tea for our guests.” Sarek said.

When Spock followed, it was with the knowledge that this was not just about tea. Perhaps it was because he’d just been reprimanded by his elder self no less than hour ago, but that feeling of dread was back as he followed Sarek stiffly into the kitchen.

In the kitchen, Spock stood by the door and watched as Sarek put the kettle on and reached for some mugs on the shelf. He waited, feeling his heart speeding, until finally Sarek turned back around.

“Spock, I believe you should bond with T’Bree.”

“I – _What_?”

“You should bond with T’Bree.” Sarek repeated, turning around to place the mugs on a tray and put the teabags within. “She is single, you are single, so logically…”

“What are you--? Where is this coming from?” Spock found articulation nearly impossible at this, as well as the way Sarek was being so calm.

“When T’Bree first came back to the colony, I went to observe the new litter of sehlats at her home. We had a civil conversation, where she inferred that you were my son. She told me she was very impressed with your work in Starfleet. Her intended bond-mate perished when Vulcan was destroyed…and you severed your bond with T’Pring before you left home…”

“Father, I am sure she would not be interested…” Spock started.

“She asked me specifically if _you_ would be interested.” Sarek said.

Spock did not know what to say. As a child, it had been quite a feat for his parents to find him a bond-mate due to his undesirable biology, but here was a girl his own age…asking about him and smiling at him. Well…it just wouldn’t due. There was only one person’s smile he cared to see.

“No…father. I cannot.” Spock sighed. In that moment, he understood what he must do. It was one thing to keep their relationship a secret when they were unsure of how it was going to progress, but Spock knew now how it was going to progress. He only wanted to be with Jim forever, and if that was to happen, everyone would have to know.

“Think logically…” Sarek started again.

“Father, there is someone else.” Spock blurted out. Sarek looked up from the counter in surprise. “I cannot bond with her, because I have fallen in love with someone else.”

Just then, the kitchen door opened and Jim stepped in. He sighed, glancing back over his shoulder into the living room before closing the door.

“Can you believe she snapped at me for trying to feed your sehlat a piece of shortbread from my pocket? I wasn’t gonna give it the _whole thing…”_

Spock reached over and took Jim’s hand in his. He could feel Jim’s immediate shock, as well as see it in the rising color on his face. Spock laced their fingers together and looked back towards his father.

“I see…” Sarek said, though Spock thought it sounded as if he saw, but did not understand. Well, feelings were strange and Spock did not even understand them fully, so he was not going to bother trying to explain them to his father.

“Spock…” Jim whispered, going redder. “What are you doing?”

“I am telling my father why I cannot bond with T’Bree.” Spock said.

“He was trying to set you up with _her?”_ Jim chuckled. “She works with pets, but she looks like she’s never had fun a day in her life.”

“I _see.”_ Sarek said again. “Well…I suppose I must say that I am surprised, but not dissatisfied.”

“You’re not?” Spock had been expecting his father not to understand, but he was going to tell him regardless, even if it meant their visit was going to be cut short to avoid a disagreement.

“There is something…exciting about having a human bond-mate. I made that choice, as well, or have you forgotten?” Sarek smiled a fraction.

“Of course not, Father.” Spock felt a twinge inside as he thought of his mother. “I just thought that you would think my choice was…illogical.”

“Hey, what’s so _illogical_ about me?” Jim asked incredulously.

“Where would you like me to begin?”

“Sarek…” The door opened again, and T’Bree stepped in. She looked at Spock, and then down at where he was still holding Jim’s hand. Spock considered letting go, as this could be misconstrued as something lewd, until Jim tightened his grip and Spock felt an influx of jealousy.

“Would you like some tea?” Sarek asked her.

“N-No…thank you.” Her eyes didn’t leave Spock and Jim’s joined hands. “I am leaving now…but thank you for your hospitality.”

“Would you like to come back next week and check on the sehlat?” Sarek asked as if he did not notice how awkward it now was.

“No. I think it will be fine with you. You’ll take good care of it….Goodbye Spock, Captain.” She nodded at each of them before leaving.

“Aw, now I sort of feel bad for her.” Jim sighed. “Don’t you?”

Spock nodded, even though as he now stood with Jim holding hands in front of his father, he was more than content with his life for the first time that he could ever recall being. There was only one thing that could make him truly happy.

❖ ❖ ❖

“Oh my god…That was amazing.” Jim whispered, pressing closer to Spock under the covers of the hotel bed. Spock noticed the hoarseness of his voice, and knew it had to be caused by how vocal Jim was during sex.

“Indeed.” Spock pushed back the covers and rolled onto his side so that the sweaty spot on the back of his neck could be exposed to the air. Doing so put him nose-to-nose with Jim. His pupils were blown wide, and Spock noted that both humans and Vulcans had that same physiological response.

“You were so…hot.” Jim panted, pushing back his covers as well. Spock reached over and touched Jim’s arm, marveling in how his skin was slick with sweat, despite feeling much cooler than his own. “I had no idea you could take it that hard on your first time.”

“Yes…well…” Spock blushed and rolled back onto his back. Vulcan refraction periods were very short, and he did not want to risk getting aroused again when he knew Jim needed rest.

“I’m serious.” Jim ran one hand across Spock’s chest once more, and Spock suppressed a shiver at the contact. It was especially enticing since Jim had admitted that he’d been wanting to touch Spock’s chest for quite a long time. “I mean, I thought it might be weird, just because for the first time it takes a while for people to get into the right groove of who goes where, you know? But then you started going on and on about how you wanted me inside you…”

“…I said that?” Spock blushed again.

He didn’t know why he was asking, as he remembered it all quite clearly. As they were having lunch at Sarek’s, Jim kept his hand firmly in Spock’s. Spock tried to keep his thoughts innocent, but it was difficult with Jim’s fingers lightly stroking his palm.

Finally, Spock bid his father goodbye and practically dragged Jim to the car. Jim smirked knowingly when Spock had asked to go to the hotel, and for once Spock did not mind that Jim went above the speed limit.

They fumbled for the key card and finally burst into the room as their hands tried to touch and hold as much of one another as possible. The still temperature of the room was causing Jim to perspire, and Spock wanted to taste that on Jim’s skin. The most amusing part was the way Jim squirmed away and complained that Spock’s tongue was too rough.

Before Jim, Spock had only experienced arousal from the occasional dream. So, he had nothing to compare with the way he it all made him feel. Jim was whispering things to him and touching him, and Spock eventually just all control, begging for Jim to take him.

As for his stamina and endurance, that was all due to being Vulcan. It was also what caused his short refraction period and what caused him to get aroused again when he should have been letting Jim rest.

“Do you remember what else you said?” Jim asked as he rolled on top of Spock and straddled his hips. Spock’s breathing sped up as Jim rocked their hips together and leaned down to whisper in his ear. “You started calling me _Captain…”_

“D-Did I?” Spock could feel his face burning in shame. Yes, part of his initial attraction to Jim came from the fact that he was of a higher rank, but that was a very minute bit that he hadn’t even fully been aware of…well, apparently, it wasn’t such a minute part after all.

“You did.” Jim pressed his face in the crook of Spock’s neck, and Spock could feel the smirk on his face. “At first I thought you were just being formal for some reason, but then you really got into it…you were all _Oh, Captain…_ ”

Spock bit his bottom lip and willed his body still. As much as arousal was now flooding back into him from every point that their skin was touching, he did not want to overwork his mate.

“Jim…” Spock whimpered as Jim began really rocking their bodies together, their erections rubbing together, Jim’s still slick with lube and Spock’s still slick with cum from last time. Spock moaned as Jim reached down to wrap one hand around both.

“That’s Captain to you…” Jim growled in Spock’s ear and bit gently at the skin of his neck.

Spock was gone, his hips thrusting up forcefully as his hands gripped Jim’s back. He moaned louder than ever intended as he came again, soaking their stomachs and Jim’s hand in semen.

“God, that’s so fucking hot.” Jim gasped. He leaned back and lifted his hand to his mouth to lick Spock’s seed off his hand. “You know, you taste way better than a human does.”

“Captain…” Spock closed his eyes again as he felt the blood rush to his face. “Do you not feel the primal need to sleep after experiencing orgasm?”

“What? You just expected me to fall asleep after one round?” He laughed. “I’m young! I could go at least twice! Maybe three times on a good day…and this feels like a good day.” He leaned down to kiss Spock again, and Spock moaned into his mouth as he felt Jim’s hard body press down against his sensitive cock once more.

The primal urge to sleep did finally instill about an hour later. Spock squirmed uncomfortably where he was pinned under his sweaty sticky human. Jim mumbled in his sleep and rolled off him and onto his side of the bed.

Spock climbed out of bed, his own naked body just as sticky, and went for the bathroom. The hotel’s shower was relaxing, and Spock found himself achieving a light state of meditation as he stood under the hot water.

Jim…Jim was slowly becoming everything to him. For so long he lived a private life of isolation, but the idea of going back to that now…to never seeing Jim again for whatever reason –it hurt. He would never let that happen. They were perfect for each other, so logical, they should always be together from now and every day following. He had to protect Jim. He had to keep him safe and hold him at night. The idea of losing Jim…it left him with such emptiness…it was not like the emptiness of Vulcan emotionless. It was a painful gaping heartbreak.

It was just like what he felt from himself.

“He lost his bond-mate.” Spock’s eyes flew open, the relaxing sleepiness of the shower fading rapidly. “Oh, Spock.” He sighed. “You could not tell me this?”

Losing a bond-mate was the worst thing anyone could go through. No wonder his elder self was still so shaken. Spock knew it had to easier with company, so it would be selfish to not return for dinner, especially after promising.

He turned off the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He was still dripping as he left the bathroom and approached the bed.

“Jim…” Spock shook him lightly. “Jim, wake up.”

“Mm…five more minutes, Bones.” Jim mumbled.

“Jim!” Spock shook him slightly harder. “You have to wake up.”

“Hm?” Jim opened his eyes and looked at Spock, who was still dripping wet, one hand holding up the towel. “Wow…you ready for round four, babe?”

“I am afraid that must be postponed.” Spock felt a smile pull at his lips. “You have to get cleaned up so that we may go back to Elder Spock’s for dinner.”

“Oh yeah.” Jim yawned and sat up. “I almost forgot about that. We both seemed so tired that I thought we were gonna skip it. But I’m glad we’re not, cuz then I’d feel bad.”

Jim left the bathroom door open as he cleaned off. Spock began putting on his discarded clothes from earlier as he felt his adrenaline still rising at his earlier revelation.

It was dark by the time they arrived at the elder Spock’s home. Jim parked and sighed as they exchanged guilty glances. Hopefully Elder Spock wouldn’t make a big deal about their tardiness. Spock tried to guess based on his own personality, and knew that he would not chide them aloud, but he would have to suppress feelings of abandonment at the thought that he’d been forgotten.

The door was unlocked, and as they walked in, they were greeted by the smells of a cooked meal, as well as Leonard, who rushed to them and began sniffing their pockets in the hopes that they might have treats.

“Hey, buddy. Where’s your owner?” Jim stroked Leonard’s head before calling out. “Spock? We’re here! Sorry we’re late!”

They exchanged curious glances before they began to branch out in opposite directions. Spock started down the hallway, while Jim went for the kitchen with Leonard at his heels.

Spock looked in the bedroom he was occupying, and then Jim’s. He did a double take before closing the door when he realized the bed Jim had slept in was now fully made. If Spock knew anything about Jim, it was that he was not the type to make his bed or pick up his clothes, and further inspection showed that Jim’s clothes from the night before had also been neatly folded on the dresser.

Jim did not do this. It must have been the elder Spock. Spock stepped slowly into the room. He looked around and imagined his elder counterpart coming in and cleaning behind Jim. Why would he do that if he knew they were coming back again tonight and it was just going to get messed up again? Spock did not see the logic, especially since his own room looked untouched, even though it had not been left spotless.

“You find him?”

Spock turned around as he heard Jim approaching. Leonard was padding behind him, trying to snap at something Jim had in his hands. A closer inspection saw that it was a piece of shortbread.

“No, down!” Jim pushed Leonard away with his free hand.

“Where did you get that?” Spock demanded, feeling his adrenaline spike once more as his mind began to piece together an odd conclusion.

“Not from my pocket, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Jim grinned. “There was a plate on the counter in the kitchen with a little note saying I could have all I wanted, since you guys don’t like them.”

“I see…” Spock said, the gears of his mind going.

“Hey, did you clean in here?” Jim asked as he stepped around Spock and into the bedroom. “A little unnecessary, but not unappreciated….Hey, did you change my pillow cases?” He picked up one of the pillows. “How did you know I needed hypoallergenic ones? Did you hear me coughing last night?”

“Jim…” Spock suddenly understood.

It wasn’t just any bond-mate that his elder self lost, it was one they had in common. Yet _another_ thing they had in common.

“What?” Jim dropped the pillow and looked over. “What’s with that look?”

“Jim…I am going to tell you something that you may find alarming.” Spock reached out and placed both hands on Jim’s shoulders.

“Okay…you’re freaking me out, Spock. What’s going on?”

“It…was you.” Spock sighed in almost relief at the realization. It made much more sense than anything else, and Spock would rather hear that it’d been Jim than someone like T’Pring.

“What was me?”

“My counterpart…he and your counterpart…were _bond-mates_.” Spock watched as Jim’s eyes widened and a faint pink blush spread on his cheeks.

“…They were? How do you know?”

“I can simply…tell.” Spock did not feel as if he could articulate every sign he’d subconsciously been picking up on, even if he tried.

“So…in another time-line, me and you were _married.”_ Jim grinned.

“Yes, that is what I am telling you.”

“That’s… _hilarious_!” Jim laughed.

_“Is it?!”_

A voice in the doorway made them both nearly jump out of their skin. Spock gasped, and felt as if his katra once more leapt out of his body. He dropped his hands from Jim’s shoulder as they both turned to see Elder Spock standing in the doorway.

He was staring down at the floor, his hands clasped behind his back. The darkness of the hallway casted a shadow over his face, but Spock could still make out the deep green color on his face.

“What are you two doing back here?” He demanded.

“We…we were just –“ Spock once again found it hard to look into his counterpart’s face, especially now that the anger seemed to burn even stronger than this morning.

“We were looking for you. We were late…the door was unlocked.” Jim explained. Elder Spock looked down again and sighed. The anger quickly faded, and now he just seemed tired, too tired to look at them again. “Is it…Is it true?” Jim asked softly.

“It is true.” Elder Spock whispered, his arms now limp at his sides. “I…I never wanted either of you to know this. You would never understand.”

“You thought that we wouldn’t understand?” Spock couldn’t help but feel hurt at the notion.

“We get it…” Jim assured him, holding up his hands. “I only said it was funny, because…”

“No.” Elder Spock said sharply, his eyes snapping up again. “You do not understand. I suppose I cannot blame you.” He looked at Spock. “To think of your older self, and the older self of someone you’ve only ever known as a friend…touching mouths.”

Spock took a moment to compose himself. They had to do it now, anything to disperse this awkward atmosphere. Spock just opened his mouth when he heard something terrible. Jim was laughing.

His hands over his mouth, and shaking. Spock looked over in horror as Jim continued to laugh at Spock’s elder counterpart. Elder Spock stiffened, his face coloring deeper as anger pierced his gaze once more.

“No…I know it’s not funny, I’m not laughing at you, I swear.” Jim gasped, still shaking as he pulled his hands away. “It’s just…you said _touching mouths._ ”

“Jim!“ Spock glared daggers at him. Of all the times for such illogical human emotional responses, now was the worst.

“And that’s what _you_ always say.” Jim looked from the younger Spock to the older one. “And that’s why we were late getting here…we were at the hotel touching mouths!”

Spock groaned and covered his face with his hands. He could feel himself blushing harder than ever before, the tips of his ears burning. Yes, it was most logical that they reveal their relationship now, but this was possibly the worst way to do it.

“Spock…Is this true?” The amount of authority in his voice forced younger Spock to pull his hands from his face.

“Y-Yes. It is true.” Spock took a shaky breath and felt the color draining from his face. “We…we just did not say anything…”

“Cuz we thought you wouldn’t understand. We’re sorry we lied to you.” Jim finished, crossing his arms.

Elder Spock looked between them for a moment, and Spock counted how many heartbeats passed before he spoke. But he did not speak. He smiled at them…and then he laughed. He was actually laughing at them. Spock looked over in surprise at Jim, who started laughing too.

“And…and…” Jim panted. “When you got to our hotel room yesterday and knocked on the door, we were in the middle of touching mouths then, too!”

“Jim, _please_ stop saying _touching mouths…”_ Spock pressed his fingers to his temples and sighed.

“Fine! We were making out. Whatever you wanna call it.” Jim took one last heavy breath and his laughter died out.

“Well, then I apologizing for interrupting you.” Elder Spock said, and Spock felt himself blushing again.

“Nah, it’s cool.” Jim was apparently unaware of his mate’s discomfort. “We made up for it later.”

“I need to meditate.” Spock said weekly, though he knew he could go now.

They promised his elder counterpart that they would all have a nice dinner tonight, and he always kept his word. That, and he could not accept the fact that his elder self conceded to him in chess. They would have to have a proper rematch.

“First, we will have dinner and chess if you are feeling up to it?” Elder Spock asked him.

“Yes.” Spock nodded, smiling softly when he felt Jim reach over and take his hand and lace their fingers together.

“I have another story I would like to tell you while we eat.” Elder Spock started as they all walked back towards the kitchen with Leonard trailing behind them. “It all started when Captain Pike told me that he would be stepping away from his post, and that there would be a _new_ captain. He was apparently the youngest that Starfleet had ever seen. I do admit I was somewhat skeptical at first…”

❖ ❖ ❖

Jim always slept best when sharing a bed with someone else. Whether it was his mother during her short stints of leave when he was still a child or Sam, before he decided he’d rather not bunk with his kid brother.

It was what made that first night of leave so relaxing. The rolling sound of Vulcan thunder coupled with the heavy breathes of Leonard lulled Jim right to sleep.

Sleeping with Spock could have been god tier. He was so warm, burning hot under the shared cover. His lanky limbs wrapped around Jim’s middle and he could feel Spock’s higher heartrate against the small of his back, and Spock’s warm breath on his neck.

Yes, it could have been the most amazing sleep ever. Except one thing ruined it. Spock snored. Spock snored very loudly.

“Spoc,” Jim threw his elbow back to nudge the Vulcan who’d just drifted off. “Oh my god, do you have any idea how loud you are?”

“What?” Spock shifted a bit, startled. “What is it?”

“You snore. Loud.” Jim said, trying not to laugh. He figured Spock had been laughed at enough today, both of them.

“…I do not.” Spock whispered indignantly after a moment of silence.

“Yes the hell you do!” Jim chuckled. “Maybe no one’s ever told you…haven’t you shared a bed with anyone before?”

“I decline to answer that question.” Spock said after a moment. “I apologize if I am disturbing you. Perhaps we should sleep in separate rooms again.”

“Hell no.” Jim reached down to place his hands on Spock’s hands that were around his middle. “I’ve wanted you forever, and I’ve accepted everything about you that makes you…you, so I’ll learn to accept this too.”

They fell back into silence, and Jim felt the sleepiness lull him under. Spock’s heartbeat was fast on his back, and his breathing was warm on Jim’s neck. Jim felt the first hazes of a dream pull at his consciousness, and then…

Jim sighed in annoyance as the snoring resumed. He reached back again and nudged Spock hard in the ribs. The snoring faltered and stopped, but only for a moment. Jim nudged him again, and felt Spock jolt.

“Jim, you are disturbing my sleep.” Spock said with thinly veiled annoyance.

“Oh, I’m disturbing you?!” Jim whispered harshly. He then couldn’t help but laugh. “God, I love you…but you snore like a buzz saw.”

“Perhaps I should meditate and give you a chance to fall asleep.” Spock mused.

“No, I’m gonna go get a drink of water.” Jim rolled over and kissed Spock before climbing out of bed.

Leonard lifted his head as Jim padded out of the bedroom and followed him out into hallway. The house was dead silent, as the weather was calm tonight.

In the kitchen, Jim drank down a glass of water before tipping a second glass into Leonard’s water dish. As the sehlat busied himself with drinking, Jim went back down the hallway. He could hear Spock’s snoring as he got closer, and couldn’t help but smile.

As cute as it was, he needed sleep. He decided to crash in his own bed, but when Jim opened the bedroom, he saw it was not empty. Elder Spock stood gazing out the window.

“Oh, sorry…”Jim went to close the door, but Elder Spock looked over at him.

“It is nothing. I was only looking at the view.” He gestured out the window, and Jim saw that the window had a perfect view of the New Vulcan moon.

“Oh…wow.” Jim slowly approached and turned to gaze out as well. “Nice.”

“Indeed.”

They both looked back towards the door when Leonard padded in and climbed onto the bed. Apparently, he thought this was where they were now staying.

“Spock snores.” Jim explained after Elder Spock raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yes, we have that in common. It was the source of much anguish for my Jim.” He smiled softly.

“Did he spend all night kicking you?” Jim asked.

“No, he just instructed me to roll over when I got too loud.” He chuckled. “Oddly…it was one of the few things we ever fought over.”

Jim laughed at the mental image of he and Spock as old men, bickering when Spock’s snoring got too loud. That much be a nice life if that’s the worst it ever got.

“Is it…weird? That Spock and I are together?” Jim hadn’t had the chance to ask that evening. “I mean, really, what were the odds? Are we just meant to be together in every universe?”

“Yes, I believe so.” Elder Spock looked up at the moon. “Though before, I would have said that destiny is illogical, and that we all control our own fate…but it seems some things defy logical. Love is one of those things.”

“Well, you’re right about that. I used to not think we’d ever be friends. I remember thinking you were insane.” He chuckled. “Well, I should probably get back to my own Vulcan.”

“Goodnight Jim.” Elder Spock said.

“Wait…I wanted to ask you something.” Jim turned back around, one hand on the doorframe. “Are you…okay? Spock said you were sad…”

“Not allowing myself to feel or to think of my bond-mate was my only coping mechanism.” He started, his gaze still out the window. “This seemed logical at the time, but it had quite the toll on me. I believe by finally opening up and speaking about it with you, it has allowed my body and mind to restore balance. I will always long for him, but I am now able to make peace with his absence…I still illogically wish that you could meet him. You would have gotten along grand.”

“Now that would be awesome.” Jim laughed. Despite all the stories, he was still unable to picture what his counterpart would be like, and it would be great to experience meeting him. “So, you’re…alright?”

“Yes, Jim.” He smiled softly. “For the first time in a long time…I am happy.”

“Good. Me too.”

This time when Jim went back across the hall and fell into the arms of his snoring Vulcan, he went right to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone liked this. :3c you can follow me on tumblr @frappuccinio


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